For your approach, at flaps 30 at VREF+5 you should have 1' of pitch, not 4'. Are you sure you have enough power? Fuel flow should be about 3000 pph on each engine on final.  I spent a considerable amount of time to get the pitch correct on final approach and I know it's correct.

I set up a take off with the weight in your scenario and found I needed about 3/4 of the available trim within the green band to rotate at the correct speed, although it did require a considerable amount of elevator. I will look at this issue some more -- the COG and some other variables may need a little more fine tuning.  All my testing in terms of rotation was with considerably heavier weights and higher Vr speeds.

In the meantime just use more trim for rotation.  But this will never be perfect as the trim needs to be set according to a chart based on the percentage MAC you have when the aircraft is loaded. Ideally we would have a utility to show this value after loading the aircraft, but here we have to guess.

I'm not sure what you mean by "full spoilers in flight breaks almost nothing." If you are talking about the drag from the spoilers, I didn't change that from Captain Sim's values and I don't have any data on which to base any change. I don't have any problem slowing the aircraft with the spoilers.